Wisdom Wednesday: The Reality of Reality TV

About a week ago, I happened upon an episode of Love and Hip Hop Atlanta (The Reunion), and I must admit I was disgusted by what I witnessed.  Beautiful people of color donned the stage to engage in dialogue epitomizing the show’s past season, and what ensued was nothing short of a disgrace.  One of the cast members stormed the stage and initiated a brawl of epic proportions.  The animalistic pandemonium forced taping of the show to cease, only to resume after order was eventually restored.

I don’t appreciate the fact that when it comes to reality TV, people of color tend to make up the majority of the cast.  Of course, there are a few exceptions.  Generally speaking, the reality shows that highlight the ability to think, build communities, and survive amid challenging circumstances, tend to be dominated by whites.  When I watch Survivor, The Bachelor/Bachelorette, and The Apprentice, these shows have some type of ultimate goal or prize to be won.  The ability to reason, strategize, and work together as a team becomes paramount.  In other words, there is a method to the madness.  Whether it’s being dropped off in the middle of nowhere, and being left alone (with a camera crew, of course) to test survival skills, or being whisked away to paradise in order to choose a potential mate, these shows glamorize the great qualities of their stars.  Conversely, the negative portrayal of African-Americans (especially women) on reality shows like Love and Hip Hop, Basketball Wives, and R&B Divas creates a mockery resembling a modern-day minstrel show.  The sad truth about these shows is the “black face” is not painted on, they’re actually real.  There is no point…there is no prize…there is no goal.  Ultimately, all that comes out of this madness is more madness.  Week after week the fights ensue, the gossip gets juicier, and class goes flying out of the window.  When the season is all over, and the dust settles, these “celebrities” of color have been stripped of all dignity and class for the purpose of gaining ratings and riches.

Is this really what we have resorted to for our entertainment purposes?  What was once reserved for twelve rounds in a boxing ring can now be seen on your average African-American reality television show.  Our generation has pushed the limits of what is acceptable on television.  From violence to borderline pornography, our senses have been saturated with debauchery far beyond anything ever imagined.  The rise of the reality TV age has brought to light some pressing questions concerning the effect it has on our society.  There is such a hypocritical overtone that surfaces when we express our outrage against issues like women’s rights, domestic violence, and infidelity, when all along, our appetites for this pseudo-reality continue to grow.  It shouldn’t surprise us when we see the same type of degeneration translating and manifesting in real life.

I consider this a real epidemic and a state of emergency.  When I see two women whaling on each other for ratings, I want to ask…why?  What would cause such emotional unrest as to think this type of behavior is acceptable?   How much are you willing to sell your soul for?

In no way am I saying that reality TV is to blame for all of the social ills we see in our society.  However, I am saying that reality TV, in its present state, seems to contribute to the negative image of women especially women of color.

So let’s talk about this.

 

What type of image is reality television portraying when it comes to women and people of color?

Please feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments section below.  Looking forward to hearing from you.

 

Editor: Jaime Evans

Keep Learning ♦ Keep Loving ♦ Keep Living

As always, thanks for visiting Wisdom’s Quill.  See you soon.

BE

 

 

Wisdom Wednesday: Domestic Violence with a Twist

In light of the Ray and Janay Rice debacle, once again, the issue of domestic violence has recently earned the title of  “breaking news” in the media.  It’s unfortunate that such a sensitive part of people’s lives can be so readily accessible and publicly splayed for all to dissect.  What’s even more unfortunate is  the average person does not have sufficient knowledge or experience to appropriately discern and distill the totality of truth from the situation. 

Domestic violence is real, and it deserves to be in the spotlight of awareness much more than it has been. 

According to a well-known survey by the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence:

1 in 4 women will be victims of domestic violence at some point in their lives

1.3 women are assaulted by their partner every year

85% of domestic violence reported is against women (key word: reported)

 

These statistics are commonplace among feminists and domestic violence activists and can often be quoted verbatim, but there is an important statistic that rarely surfaces.  According to a survey taken by the CDC in 2010:

40% of the victims of severe, physical, domestic violence are men.

Of course there are many factors that influence this statistic, as with all statistics, but it is worth mentioning.  Often, the focus is on violence against women for various reasons.  Politics, marketing, and ratings often muddy the waters, thus creating a huge disparity between the sexes, in terms of the cases of violence that are actually reported.  Many times, details such as provocation, self-defense, and mental illness surface that later shed more light on domestic violence cases.  As a male, I can most assuredly say that I have never (and will never) hit a woman, although there have been situations where I would have felt totally justified in doing so for the purposes of self-defense (disclaimer: In no way am I referring to my current marriage relationship). 

Am I condoning violence against women in any way?  Of course not.  I reiterate, I have never hit a woman.  In my opinion, there are many alternative measures, other than striking, that men have to defend themselves against violence inflicted by women (which does happen) .  However, I think we all know that some women can be very volatile, and often take advantage of the laws of the land that are in effect (Violence Against Women Act of 1994) where women can easily fill the role of victim, even though many times they are the aggressors.   Of course we can witness this type of behavior whenever we look at reality television.  Although one may argue that all these shows are “scripted,” it doesn’t negate the fact that many of the behaviors seen by these reality stars seep into the psyche of many faithful viewers; and as the old adage goes: Life imitates art far more than art imitates life (Oscar Wilde-The Decay of Lying)

So let’s talk about this:

Is it ever OK for a woman to hit, scratch, bite, spit on, or physically harm a man?

Does a man have the right to defend himself against violence even if it’s by the hands of a woman?

 Editor: Jaime Evans

 

As always, thanks for visiting Wisdom’s Quill.  See you soon.

BE

Wisdom Wednesday: Anger Is In The Air

 

“Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath” (Ephesians 4:26, KJV).

It would seem that this passage allows for the expression of anger, but is this really the case?  Does this scripture imply that it is permisible to express your anger at any time?  

In a recent article about relationships and anger, some very interesting statistics are elucidated:

• •23% of Americans openly express their anger.
• •39% say they hold it in or hide it.
• •23% say they walk away.
• •23% confess to having hit someone.
• •17% admit they have destroyed someone’s property out of anger.

(Resource: What’s Good About Anger? by Lynette Hoy and Ted Griffin)

 Recently, I was in a very popular department store in the check out line, and behind me was a parent screaming at her daughter angrily.  As I left the check out line, one of the employees walked by me and attempted to open one of the doors. When she discovered that it was locked, she proceeded to bawl out explitives right there.  As I continued to walk to my car, I thought about the 70’s song, “Love is in the Air,” but instead of love there was anger in the air.  From road rage to Elliot Rodger (Santa Barbara shooter-2014) people seem to be incessantly on the verge of boiling over. 

 So why are people so angry?

In his book, Emotional Resilience, David Viscott explicates the different manifestations of pain.  Past pain is called hurt.  Present pain is called anger.  Pain caused by fear of the future is called anxiety.  When pain isn’t managed properly, the end result is what is called emotional debt.  When we factor in daily stressors, past regrets, deadlines, and unresolved losses, people are living in a perpetual state of pain.

Since anger and pain seem to be the milieu in which we live, chances are you have or will come into contact with hostile others.  So let’s talk…

How do you respond to people with bad attitudes or angry dispositions?

If pain causes anger, how does this change your perspective?

How do you manage your own negative emotions including anger?

 

 Feel free to leave a reply below.  I’d love to hear from you.

 

As always, thanks for visiting Wisdom’s Quill.  See you soon.

BE