Wisdom Wednesday: Anger Is In The Air

 

“Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath” (Ephesians 4:26, KJV).

It would seem that this passage allows for the expression of anger, but is this really the case?  Does this scripture imply that it is permisible to express your anger at any time?  

In a recent article about relationships and anger, some very interesting statistics are elucidated:

  • •23% of Americans openly express their anger.
  • •39% say they hold it in or hide it.
  • •23% say they walk away.
  • •23% confess to having hit someone.
  • •17% admit they have destroyed someone’s property out of anger.

(Resource: What’s Good About Anger? by Lynette Hoy and Ted Griffin)

 Recently, I was in a very popular department store in the check out line, and behind me was a parent screaming at her daughter angrily.  As I left the check out line, one of the employees walked by me and attempted to open one of the doors. When she discovered that it was locked, she proceeded to bawl out explitives right there.  As I continued to walk to my car, I thought about the 70’s song, “Love is in the Air,” but instead of love there was anger in the air.  From road rage to Elliot Rodger (Santa Barbara shooter-2014) people seem to be incessantly on the verge of boiling over. 

 So why are people so angry?

In his book, Emotional Resilience, David Viscott explicates the different manifestations of pain.  Past pain is called hurt.  Present pain is called anger.  Pain caused by fear of the future is called anxiety.  When pain isn’t managed properly, the end result is what is called emotional debt.  When we factor in daily stressors, past regrets, deadlines, and unresolved losses, people are living in a perpetual state of pain.

Since anger and pain seem to be the milieu in which we live, chances are you have or will come into contact with hostile others.  So let’s talk…

How do you respond to people with bad attitudes or angry dispositions?

If pain causes anger, how does this change your perspective?

How do you manage your own negative emotions including anger?

 

 Feel free to leave a reply below.  I’d love to hear from you.

 

As always, thanks for visiting Wisdom’s Quill.  See you soon.

BE

 

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5 thoughts on “Wisdom Wednesday: Anger Is In The Air

  1. How do you respond to people with bad attitudes or angry dispositions?
    If pain causes anger, how does this change your perspective?
    How do you manage your own negative emotions including anger?

    Normally, I ignore (or let it go) people who respond in anger or those with nasty disposition. I know that we all have our days and it’s human nature to say or do things out of anger. About 7 months ago I was driving in the left (fast) lane and came upon a car that wouldn’t move out of the way, so I had to go around her and when I gave her that “look”, she flipped me off and before I knew it, I gave it back to her. It felt good at first, but then I thought “where did that come from? You should know better with your Christian self” Anyway, I very seldom become angry, but when I do, I vent and then let it go because I’m not one to wallow in anger or bitterness I just don’t do pessimism well. I manage my negative emotions by talking to either the person who caused the negativty, a close friend and mainly Jesus.

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    • I love it. Thank you for your honesty. I’ll admit, I have a hard time dealing with bad attitudes as well. You’re on to something by venting and letting it go. Research reveals that’s the healthy way of managing pain and anger. I believe when we acknowledge God consistently, He gives us strength in the hour that we need it, and grace to help in time of need. Thank you, Sharon. Always good to hear from you.
      BE

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  2. How do you respond to people with bad attitudes or angry dispositions?

    If pain causes anger, how does this change your perspective?

    How do you manage your own negative emotions including anger?
    ______________________________________________________________

    I LOVED this post B.E. and below are answers to your questions:
    1) My first instinct is to snap back at the person (because I was born with a mean streak), but God has really done a work in my heart. I now choose to suppress my fleshly/prideful first instinct and respond in a firm but loving way. Does this mean I am going to be a doormat for that person acting angry?…DEFINITELY not! But I have found a happy medium that says “I am going to deal with you in love, but don’t make this a habit” 🙂

    2) This concept of pain causing anger made me more sympathetic toward the angry individual (and less likely to seek revenge). I needed that perspective. Thanks!

    3) I used to bottle up my anger and then explode when the bottle got too full. Now, I tell the person who angered me why I am upset. This is very freeing, and it keeps me from harboring bitterness. Bitterness can be a very destructive thing, so I don’t want it to take root in my heart. I also focus on walking in the Spirit, which means to keep in step with the Holy Spirit throughout the day through prayer and the Word. This helps me to see the angry person through a different lens and to respond in a non-instinctual way. I try to not let anger linger long in my heart. I want the fruit of the spirit to be evident in my life. Does the fruit of the Spirit include anger?…nope, but the fruit of the flesh does (see below). So this tells me that whenever anger rises in my heart, I need to deal with it fully and quickly.

    Galatians 5:19b-24
    Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

    PEACE OUT, B.E. Much love!

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    • One more thing…

      The works of the flesh includes “fits of anger”, so when we feel angry, instead of throwing fits and displaying it in crazy ways outwardly, we can allow the Holy Spirit’s power to constrain us and cause us to exhibit “gentleness and self-control”. This TRULY takes the power of God to constrain us when we have been hurt or wronged.

      Thanks, B.E. for this excellent post.

      Like

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